Without a pause.
Letters I would like to write.
I want to cry. I’m feeling like shit and it’s shitty how much I say ‘masst’ and ‘theek hai’ for people who ask me “what’s up with you?” and “how are you?”. “Okay” is not it. My boyfriend is half the world away from me and I want to be with him. It’s not sexism. It’s not backward. He doesn’t have time to breathe and I want to cuddle up with him and make him okay with the padhaai that he does. I miss him. I can’t help it. 3 days with him in whatsitcalled was nothing nothing nothing of the kind of time I want to spend with him. I want to fight with him and then really hug him. I want to sleep with my ear on his chest and hear his heart and as mushy as it sounds I don’t know what else will calm him. I want sex with him and I want babies and blushing and more fights and more cuddling up after that.
My boy is alone there and it’s showing.