I just told him I can never be close enough to him.
I don’t know what that means. I am afraid of one of us falling hard for the other. I am afraid one of us already did. I am translating the distance into patience, and the patience into fear. And the fear of holding on and letting go attacks. I am afraid of speaking it all out, but saying nothing he wants to hear. I am scared we will ignore the signs. He is certain, I am not. I am sure, he is not. We don’t know.
And it’s scary enough that I don’t know.